Emotional

If I only had five more years or ten or even a month left
Who would I want to spend it with?
Will religion even matter?
Or all those other things we call barriers
Will all that matter not be "does he make me happy?"
The last week..esp yesterday has made me face my mortality
I'm living each day like its my last
No more regrets, fears, ..scared of rejection..whats that?
If he doesn't feel the same way I'd know I tried
Wasn't afraid to face my fears
Tell my friends I love them...
Hug my folks everyday...love them, appreciate them
Eat all the things I want
Take care of my self
Hang with old friends...they r precious
They knew me when I used to rock black and red bandanas, trainers, bounce..and thot I was cute
They loved me even then
Forget old grudges, what were we even fightin about?
Love with all my heart and damn the consequences!!!

Closure

Sometimes we shut the door
Sometimes we leave it ajar
Sometimes we slam it
I think I'm ready to remove the whole door and fill it with cement.
Cos even a shut door can be reopened, keys can b found
If desperate enough, the door can even be broken down
I'm ready to move houses, I don't even want to see the wall where the door used to be.
That door was fun in the summer though
It made everything bright and sunny, let all the light in,
and let out all the extra heat ;)
But now its cold,
Can't wait for spring
New house, new door, new light

Sleepless in Lasgidi

I haven't slept in a week

You really never know what you have until its gone
I miss sleep
I crave sleep
I will do just about anything right now to have a good nights sleep
Being awake when everyone's asleep is not fun
There are only so many movies to watch
Or books to  read
I've tweeted and facebooked
I have rehashed repressed memories
I have thought about weird things
Missed people I shouldn't
Called people I really shouldn't have
I'm glad I don't live alone
Cos I'm sure sure I'd have done things I shouldn't
There's only one person that gets it
But right now he's sleeping well
I'm jealous...
I've heard all the solutions..
Music, alcohol, drugs....
I've cooked @ 3am
Eaten eba @ 3:30
Done laundry in between all that
I'm worn out
Sleep where are you
I don't think I can survive another week

WAS

It was fun
It was short
It was free
It was "real"
It was me
It was her
It was hurt
It was friendship
It was need
It was a lot
It was nothing
It was you
It was..
Not is..