how many times can 1 person break ur heart before its enough?? Do people get a quota? How many is reasonable...1,2,5,10?? Its so funny that we always have all the answers when the story is about someone else....how can she be so stupid...ehn...God forbid, i cant take that from any guy and all that...yeah i know what we say cos i think im the most vocal when it comes to things like that...just realised im a BIG hypocrite...as in they should flog me in the streets type.
Back to this same "hot sturves" that i blogged about some months ago....he's been in and out of my life since then and as much as im ashamed 2 admit it...im almost falling into the whole cycle again....thank God for the distance cos i cant promise these knickers would have stayed on o!!! Anyway so he said we should give this relationship thing a try, he loves me,( he calls just to tell me he loves me) and i dont even know how to describe how i felt when i heard that cos honestly i'd kinda given up on the whole thing by now and finally gotten over him. He hurt me so so many times that i dont think i can count, and when i think about some of the mean things he did ,i realise that he really couldnt have cared about me and he probably still doesnt. He keeps on telling me to come over, he'd buy my ticket and all that but honestly im scared shitless... i cant deal with another heartbreak but its hard 2 breakaway when u have so much history with one person (2001-2008 is a loooooooooooooong time). I know the sane thing to do but im such a romantic which is actually pure madness to a normal person.
Ok, now you're probably saying, if i know all this then i obviously know what to do right?? Wrong...so wrong!! Im so gone when he comes to him, id rehearse what id say when he calls, but as soon as i hear his voice, i become temporarily dumb! I delete his number which is kind of a moot point since i know it off heart....i blame sex and the city...with Carrie and her Mr BIG!!! Things like that so do not happen in real life...so why cant i just practice what i preach...cos trust me, with my friends im kinda like the relationship counsellor( if only they knew).
Anyway all that is over now( I PROMISE!!), i so deserve a whole lot better than that and im determined not 2 settle for any less...Love is not supposed to hurt or be that difficult!!
On another note entirely....imagine how frustrating it is to be in this naija rainy season without a man....situation is getting very critical o...i coulda sworn i saw cobwebs some days ago...
.....Help needed!! Apply within...with complete CV and full references....experience very important!!
21 July
09 July
Must it have a title?????????
yeah i know its been a while...IM SORRY!!!! ...my exercise and cutting out of all...(ok stop lyin) some of the crap i eat has paid off!!!! IM BACK...and even better...lol!!...and TIN-TIN(boy) me thinks u have 2 recompute that ur foolish brideprice thingy...as in seriously!!..LOL...ok as y'all might have guessed im a lil excited..
Anyway...ive missed blogville...so many things have happened since i was last here...canbelieve blogville idols has started..and without me 2...how did that happen?? I CAN SING!!( well thats wat my mum says anyway...actually only her...she might be deceivin me come to think of it).
So NYSC is almost over...and boy am i excited...so tired of all the stress of CD( communnity development) days and all..even tho i guess im luckier than most who actually have 2 direct traffic or sweep streets in thah god-awful corper attire!! The only problem now is i have 2 decide what i wanna do next...do i stay here and continue with my job for a few more years..( which i love, the experience is out of this world, d pple are so cool but pay not so fantastic) or do i hawk myself off 2 a great paying job where i might not learn as much and work culture typical naija style( oga, madam crap) or do i just bail out of naija 2 do an MBA?? I guess i still have about a month left 2 figure all that out.
Anyway, i have a problem thst i dont know how 2 fix.... Generally im a fun,friendly, playful( almost 2 playful) person, but for some strange reason, every few months i get into some crappy moods and oh boy am i bitch when i am, i get mad @ everything and everyone and vent every chance i get, i cry for hours and dont know why..im still trying 2 understand why...(or does it happen 2 anyone else), cos during those periods i hurt the people closest 2 me, i shut them out and i cant help it...The latest victim was my mum and i feel so bad..i have apologized for being a total bitch but i know it doesnt mean much when i cant explain why or if it happens again.
Lastly...Has anyone been heartbroken?? How does it feel?? How did it affect your next relationship?? Could u go back to the one who broke your heart? Would it work, or would u find it hard 2 stop going on about how he/she broke your heart?
Anyway...ive missed blogville...so many things have happened since i was last here...canbelieve blogville idols has started..and without me 2...how did that happen?? I CAN SING!!( well thats wat my mum says anyway...actually only her...she might be deceivin me come to think of it).
So NYSC is almost over...and boy am i excited...so tired of all the stress of CD( communnity development) days and all..even tho i guess im luckier than most who actually have 2 direct traffic or sweep streets in thah god-awful corper attire!! The only problem now is i have 2 decide what i wanna do next...do i stay here and continue with my job for a few more years..( which i love, the experience is out of this world, d pple are so cool but pay not so fantastic) or do i hawk myself off 2 a great paying job where i might not learn as much and work culture typical naija style( oga, madam crap) or do i just bail out of naija 2 do an MBA?? I guess i still have about a month left 2 figure all that out.
Anyway, i have a problem thst i dont know how 2 fix.... Generally im a fun,friendly, playful( almost 2 playful) person, but for some strange reason, every few months i get into some crappy moods and oh boy am i bitch when i am, i get mad @ everything and everyone and vent every chance i get, i cry for hours and dont know why..im still trying 2 understand why...(or does it happen 2 anyone else), cos during those periods i hurt the people closest 2 me, i shut them out and i cant help it...The latest victim was my mum and i feel so bad..i have apologized for being a total bitch but i know it doesnt mean much when i cant explain why or if it happens again.
Lastly...Has anyone been heartbroken?? How does it feel?? How did it affect your next relationship?? Could u go back to the one who broke your heart? Would it work, or would u find it hard 2 stop going on about how he/she broke your heart?
N:B Id be back soon to update...promise!!
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